Wellesley Underground

“There’s no doubt about it, I’m not in the Bay...

shellypolitik — Tue, 29 May 2012 23:08:00 -0400

“There’s no doubt about it, I’m not in the Bay Area anymore. The urban comforts I have come to rely on are nowhere in sight. My smartphone is perpetually losing signal, and I don’t imagine that there is a latte or a martini or even a good roast chicken to be found within five hundred miles. Anand is a district located in the state of Gujarat, which is strictly vegetarian. No restaurant, hotel, or self-respecting citizen serves beef, pork, chicken, or fish, even to a foreigner like me. Gujarat is also a dry state, no alcohol allowed, though if I had a drink in this heat, I swear I might pass out. But, after the day I think I’m about to have, I might be willing to risk it.”

Wow. Just wow. You go to India and convince some poor woman to bear your child and all you can do is wave around your snooty Americanism about the lack of cell phone reception and beef. I personally find the trend of IVF in India wrong. I think this trend unjustifiably exposes urban and rural poor women of india/south asia and further there is a degree of unconscionability with respect to their consenting to undergo surrogacy. its just like #privilege #privilege #privilege

How to Be Happier at Work - Leonard A. Schlesinger, Charles F. Kiefer, and Paul B. Brown - Harvard Business Review

shellypolitik — Tue, 29 May 2012 22:56:06 -0400

How to Be Happier at Work - Leonard A. Schlesinger, Charles F. Kiefer, and Paul B. Brown - Harvard Business Review:

Great advice. Start Something. If you were to “Start Something” what would it be?

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shellypolitik — Tue, 29 May 2012 19:45:05 -0400

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The Cost of College

shellypolitik — Mon, 28 May 2012 17:27:40 -0400

The Cost of College:

I thought this was an interesting comment for readers of WU to read for a couple reasons. First it discusses the cost of elite schools and how, in fact, elite/ivy leagues charge less than they actually cost. This is the argument often made to compel alums to give; that we received more than we gave, and the returns from our Wellesley education will be greater as we grow into our careers.

In addition Lemann takes the time to point out that while some colleges and universities are using deceptive marketing tactics to promise high school students that they will gain employment, liberal arts schools do in fact “stress their non-economic value.” Is this true for Wellesley? Sarah Turrin ‘11 wrote a a piece a few months back about how Wellesley markets itself on producing “Women Who Will” be heads of state, banks, non-profits, i.e BFDs. Is this deceptive marketing on the part of Wellesley or is it for the most part still holding true?

Finally, Lemann discusses the contradiction between Obama’s speech at UNC a few weeks ago where he essentially promoted the notion of education as the great equalizer and the fact that Ivy Leauges and the like have become even more elite and even harder to get into. Specifically he states “In higher education, the Unites States may be on its way to becoming more like the rest of the world, with a small group of schools controlling access to life membership in the elite.” I think we as alums of Wellesley do fall into this life membership of the elite (bourgeois!) no matter what our economic background was or is. Thoughts on this?

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It was satisfying to watch the two Presidential candidates find their ways to absolutely opposed positions on gay marriage. Elections are supposed to present us with clear choices like that, but they usually don’t. Just two weeks earlier, on an issue that affects many more people, Barack Obama had taken a stand that he evidently thought would also showcase a sharp contrast between him and Mitt Romney. A temporary reduction in an interest rate that makes some federal student loans more affordable is due to expire on July 1st, and Obama called for its extension.

Republicans in Congress have fought Obama on the interest rate, saying that keeping it low would add to the federal deficit. Last month, in response, Obama delivered a rip-roaring address at the University of North Carolina, in which he mocked the Republicans for wanting to make hardworking, non-affluent students victims of their budget-cutting impulses. Just the day before, however, Romney had let it be known that he, too, is in favor of extending the rate. This was a contrast that he chose not to draw.

This graduation season, the national conversation seems to be going into apocalypse mode about the cost of higher education. Tuition has been rising faster than the inflation rate for years, even through the Great Recession. State governments are cutting funding, and thus pushing more students into the loan market. Student-loan debt is also rapidly rising. Hundreds of thousands of students start college every year, but only about three-fifths get a degree. The job market for graduates is weak. Two years ago, Steve Eisman, the investor who made a fortune shorting subprime mortgages, gave a speech, entitled “Subprime Goes to College,” in which he predicted a 2008-style meltdown at for-profit universities, driven by systemic defaults on student loans. That prediction is now being applied to traditional colleges, too. Why, then, are both candidates proposing to further inflate a bubble that’s about to burst?

There are all sorts of internal forces on campuses that drive tuition upward, but they are less important in setting the price of an education than is the conviction that college is an unbeatable investment for a better life. As Obama put it in North Carolina, “In today’s economy, there’s no greater predictor of individual success than a good education. Right now, the unemployment rate for Americans with a college degree or more is about half the national average. The incomes of folks with a college degree are twice as high as those who don’t have a high-school diploma.” These figures communicate the over-all reality of the situation better than do the anecdotes about heavily indebted graduates who can’t find jobs. And it is also true that, thanks to a widespread springtime ritual known as “discounting”—higher education’s version of airlines’ and hotels’ variable pricing, in which incoming students get grants to reduce their tuition—the actual price of higher education is less shockingly high.

Still, many programs, especially those which claim to lead to high-paying jobs, use deceptive recruiting practices that both overstate graduates’ employment prospects and understate students’ financial obligations. (Liberal-arts colleges, which stress their non-economic value, aren’t so guilty of such practices.) The Obama Administration has pushed for reform, at least in the case of for-profit universities. Yet no enterprise has an unlimited capacity to fleece consumers. If higher education is truly overpriced, its costs will go down when students and their parents stop perceiving it as being limitlessly valuable.

There is a larger issue. College costs so much because people are paying for unstated social goals. Each college and university is a collection of many different activities, some of which pay for others. Research libraries and philosophy departments can’t possibly make money; they require subsidies from business schools and biomedical-research labs, but that drives tuition higher than it would be if universities dropped their money-losing functions. More broadly, the United States created the world’s first mass system of higher education. Hundreds, not dozens, of colleges aspire to be research universities—because there lies status, prestige, and intellectual excitement—and so they have faculty members with low teaching loads. That costs money. The system is built to take in just about all high-school graduates, and that costs money, too.

Where higher education is actually underpriced is in the top-tier schools. That may sound offensive, but price is determined by what people are willing to pay, and the top twenty-five or so schools in the country could charge even more than they do. The number of applications to those schools continues to grow faster than their cost. (Ivy League colleges will charge about sixty thousand dollars next year.) That’s because the perceived value of their degrees continues to rise. Now that we know that either Obama or Romney will be President next year, we also know that, from 1989 through at least 2017, every President of the United States will have had a degree from either Harvard or Yale or, in the case of George W. Bush, both. That could be a three-decade accident, or it may be a sign of something lasting—the educational version of the inequality surge, elevating “one per cent” institutions far above the rest.

The top schools, led by Stanford, are now aggressively exploring online education, which they had previously left to the for-profits. This doesn’t mean that they will suddenly start granting degrees online to ten or a hundred times as many students; instead, they are likely to offer a second, cheaper (or even free) tier of education that will only enhance the lifelong value of their traditional, in-residence degrees.

In higher education, the United States may be on its way to becoming more like the rest of the world, with a small group of schools controlling access to life membership in the élite. And higher education is becoming more like other areas of American life, with the fortunate few institutions distancing themselves ever further from the many. All those things which commencement speakers talk about—personal growth, critical-thinking skills, intellectual exploration, breadth of learning—will survive at the top institutions, but other colleges will come under increased pressure to adopt the model of trade schools. Student loans open access to students, and give colleges more freedom. Obama and Romney will have plenty to disagree about, and it’s good that the interest rate on student loans isn’t on the list. For the federal government to pump extra tuition money into the system, in the form of low-cost loans, in order to spread opportunity more widely, and to allow more schools to provide more than skills instruction, seems like a small price to pay for the kind of society it buys. ♦

Commencement is streaming LIVE! Watch now!

soyemily — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:32:35 -0400

Commencement is streaming LIVE! Watch now!

white girl problems:

shellypolitik — Tue, 22 May 2012 23:02:37 -0400

waterproofvalentines:

When I ask Melissa what she’s wearing tomorrow to the office (we intern at the same place) and she says a pink top and leopard loafers WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING TO WEAR.

You know there are WOC who have both pink tops and leopard loafers.

I’m wondering what is meant by the whole “white girl” problems phenomenon? is it that white girls don’t have to worry about “brown girl” or “black girl” or “asian girl” problems? such as having non-shampoo commercial friendly hair, having to wax upper lips, dealing with bigotry and racism, having otherized projections of self through the media and other people?

is it synonymous with the “first world problems” trend as well?

there was an article posted on here a few months ago about how the #firstworldproblems trend was problematic with respect to technology. i.e. my cell phone died #firstworldproblems is not just limited to the “first world” (if we want to regress to cold war terminology) but in fact the developing world also faces these quirks and annoyances in every day life because technology has indeed spread. similarly worrying about how one dresses is not limited to white girls or white people. so what makes one chose to use this trending term/topic?

Jane Lynch: "Yes AND..."

peaceindamideast — Tue, 22 May 2012 22:48:10 -0400

I feel so important!

Thank you so much, President Christ, the Board of Trustees, distinguished alumnae, my fellow honorary degree recipients, parents and friends, and of course, all of you, the Smith College Class of 2012!

You are about to receive a piece of paper that proves to the world you are now fit to join the ranks of an elite and tremendously powerful group of game-changing women. Smith women have transformed cuisine, spearheaded social movements, created great literature and, in the case of my friend Piper, class of ’92, even gone to prison! But damnit — when a Smithie goes to prison — she writes a clever and compelling book about it!

Just know, the fact that you sit here in a chair assigned to you, with your bright, shiny faces, looking gorgeous in caps and gowns, you’ve actually done far more than I was able to accomplish on my college graduation day back in 1982.

As a young person I was a victim of overwhelming angst and free-floating anxiety. I spent a great deal of my time running around like a chicken with its head cut off. This ongoing frenzy caused me to send in my graduation registration without a stamp or return address.

After my four mostly unfocused years as a solid “C” student at Illinois State University, in the aptly named Normal, Illinois, I sat where you now sit, hoping to God my name would be called and I would receive a diploma. I realized my postal booboo just as the envelope left my hand and dropped into the mailbox. Instead of figuring out a way to remedy this, I did what I have always done when I lack forethought and impulse control; I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

With my entire family out there in the audience, wearing a cap and gown I swiped when no one was looking, sharing a chair with my friend Jeannie Mahoney, I held my breath and prayed to hear my name. They finished with the L’s, and were on to the M’s, when my heart sank. As Jeannie took her diploma from our dean, she whispered in his ear that my name had been left out. Gratefully, he called mine after hers. He didn’t have a diploma for me but he did shake my hand. My parents, sitting way in the back, were none the wiser.

I know that none of you would have been so scattered and unfocused leading up to this day because you are the Smith Class of 2012. You are exceptional women, and if you were not you would not be here. I feel I know quite a bit about Smith women, because I married one of you. I know from living with Lara class of ’91, and loving Lara class of ’91, that the experience of attending this fabulous college is transformative. Your lives will take different paths, but you will always be Smithies.

You are the women of Smith. You are fiercely independent, wicked smart, trail blazing, uber confident and shockingly entitled. Like I told you, I live with one of you. I have no doubt you will continue with this legacy and you will change the world. And, we need you to, women of Smith College — now more than ever.

But in this moment, young ladies and Ada Comstocks, on this most auspicious of days, I want you to take a breath and reflect. Don’t blow through this day, even if you are overwhelmed with family or just a little bit drunk. Take a breath. You have successfully completed a journey at an exceptional institution of learning and attention must be paid.

If I could do so much of my early life over, I would have taken more moments like this to breathe. I would have spent more time focusing on what was right in front of me, instead of recoiling from what is because it didn’t look or feel exactly as I imagined it. I wouldn’t have been forever trying to look around the corner to see “What’s next, what’s next?!”

I’d have taken in the beauty of the moment, and greeted everything in my life with a big “YES, AND.” Which leads me to what I want to talk to you about today. And today is all about you. But just a little bit about me.

I was born a red-faced screaming malcontent with sparkling blue eyes and chubby cheeks. Along with this extra helping of angst, I felt alien in the world and in my own body, as I was sure I should have been a boy.

I spent most of my youth deeply disappointed so much of the time, because nothing ever looked or felt the way I imagined it should. I wanted to ride my bike with my shirt off all summer. I wanted to play little league baseball — I did not want to wear a dress or curl my hair. I was only happy with a clear blue sky, and I lived in Illinois where winter lasts until May and spring usually skips us altogether. If the day loomed cloudy, and it usually did, my poor mother would fear my lashing out at the weather for having let me down. I took everything so personally.

I lived my life this way for about 27 years, until my life stepped in with a huge lesson that I was just aware enough to notice.

At the time I fancied myself a serious actress; sketch comedy was not on my radar. Out of left field, I was hired for The Second City. For those of you who don’t know, The Second City is a Chicago institution, and the improvisational breeding ground where Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch and Nia Vardolos along with some guys you might recognize, got their start.

There I was, a tightly wound young woman obsessed with process, rules, fresh out of grad school, I was a classically trained pain in the ass, frankly, engaging in improvisation: the creative equivalent of jumping off a cliff. An art where there are no rules, save one; it’s called “YES, AND.”

“YES AND” is the vital and only rule of improvisation. Never deny your fellow actor. You should be willing and able to accept whatever your fellow improviser throws at you. Use that as your jumping off point and expand it. “Heighten and explore,” as we call it.

For instance, if I say to you “Stick ’em up!” and you say “That’s not a gun, that’s your finger!” We’ve got nowhere to go.

If I say “What a beautiful day” and you say, “No it’s not, it’s the middle of winter and it’s snowing!” Where do we go?

Or I say “Come my darling, it’s time for bed.” And you say, “You’re not my wife and put your pants back on!” Now what do I do with that? The scene is dead in the water and I’m literally caught with my pants down.

In order for our scene to go forward, we affirm what the other is saying, which is the “YES” part of our equation, and take it and build, the “AND” part of our equation.

In other words, in order for our lives to go forward, in order to engage fully in life, we need to be willing and able to accept what is right in front of us. Whatever it is, the good, the bad, the thrilling, the heartbreaking, every emotion, occurrence, event, person, place or thing, you will experience them all. That’s the “YES” I’m talking about. And the acceptance and embrace of it with all your heart and doing something with it, that’s the “AND.” You accept influence and then you exert influence. You can’t make a cloudy day a sunny day, but can embrace it and decide it’s going to be a good day after all.

I learn through contrast. I had one of my first significant experiences of “NO, BUT” when I was a freshman in high school. I auditioned for and was cast as the king in a one-act version of the “Princess and the Pea” story called The Ugly Duckling (beginning a life-long pattern of playing roles originally intended for men). I’d known I wanted to be an actress right out of the chute and I was beside myself with excitement.

At the audition, I got huge laughs. At the first rehearsal, I didn’t get the big laughs, I didn’t get the love and I quit. I was devastated and so confused. I had no idea what I had done! My 14-year-old self had no idea how to process it. I had walked up to that which I had ached to do for as long as could remember, and I don’t think I go too far when I say, I came face to face with my destiny, and I walked away. Ya know why? Because it didn’t feel like I imagined it should have felt. I didn’t get the response, i.e. the big laugh, i.e. the big love like I expected. There was now a real possibility of failure and I quit. I was at this time unaware of the concept of “YES AND.” Feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

As you travel through life, in these many years ahead, I guarantee that you will come upon countless times in which the last thing you’re gonna want to say is “YES AND.” You will experience loss, heartache, the death of a loved one, you’ll probably have to say goodbye to a lover, you’ll experience rejection, maybe have to deal with a bad diagnosis. You’ll age.

The trick isn’t to avoid these times or pretend they’re not happening; you can’t. What you’ll need to do is step up to them courageously and embrace them. Allow these experiences to permeate your being and weave them all into the fabric of your life. They will not only soften you and strengthen you, and you will open your heart to compassion. You will not be powerless in this. If you embrace what is happening, instead of denying it, you can make it your own. If life gives you lemons, grab it by the horns and drive. Yes I just mixed three metaphors, remember I was a “C” student.

As a younger person full of anxiety and fear, in desperate pursuit of keys to the kingdom, let me tell you what I did right. After I’d walked away from The Ugly Duckling my freshman year in high school, I would never let fear take me over again (at least in the acting department). Not that I would never feel fear again, I would just plow through it. I grabbed at almost every opportunity, maybe even some I should have left by the wayside.

This is not to suggest you should say “YES AND” to every opportunity presented to you.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Jane, what about doing porno?” To which I say I am as surprised as you are that I was never offered that opportunity.

But would I have said yes to that? What if life gives us the opportunity to rob a bank, or a way to cheat on our taxes, or say it offers us several hours in a row of life with the Kardashians…hours that we can never get back?

To this I say: you can always trust that when you’re coming from your highest self and from your heart, you’ll know when you should say “YES AND,” and when to engage the awesome power of “NO WAY.”

Now, this “YES AND” way of life may not be the most natural thing to do for you Smith College Class of 2012 women sitting in front of me today. You’re highly educated. You are so schooled in critical thinking it almost hurts to look at you. The point of your education is to get you to poke holes in theories, to question, to be loath to accept anything at face value. “YES AND” may not roll trippingly off your tongue, and into your life.

Your job is to honestly discern for yourself if you’re saying “no” to an opportunity out of fear, or are you simply exercising good judgment.

For me, the hardest thing to get past was my need to plan. I thought I had to have a plan or a strategy to get where I wanted to go. From my earliest moments, I knew I wanted to be an actress. I had a driving, anxiety-filled ambition. Growing up in this concrete jungle of a suburb just south of Chicago, I had no idea how I would get there. “Just show me the road map or a manual. Or please, someone drop down from the heavens, take my hand and show me the way.” I was ripe for a cult.

I took to rules, regulations and parameters in an effort to feel safe. While I waited for that clear plan of action, I would have at least an illusion of certainty in what has always felt to me to be an unsafe, unpredictable and ever-changing world.

It turns out I just had to be willing to take chances, look at what’s right in front of me and greet everything with a big “YES AND,” putting all of my heart into everything I do. My counsel to you, women of Smith College? Let life surprise you. Don’t have a plan. Plans are for wusses. If my life went according to my plan, I would never ever have the life I have today.

You are obviously good planners, or you wouldn’t be here. Stop it! Stop it now! Don’t deprive yourself of the exciting journey your life can be when you relinquish the need to have goals and a blueprint.

I guess I am assuming you all are as terrified as I was of life, so you know that when you feel sick to your stomach, it’s a good thing! It signals “Opportunity For Big Growth Ahead!” “Somethin’s coming, somethin’ good.” Don’t ignore the nausea. Step up to it.

At one point, I’d had a lean financial year, and performing “It’s a Hard Knock Life” from Annie in my pantyhose had lost its charm. I was stuck creatively and professionally, I was in my late 30s, terrified that the parade was passing me by. The thought of writing a show by myself and for myself began to bubble up to the surface of my consciousness, making me very sick to my stomach.

So with a big “YES AND” and chutzpah I didn’t even know I had, I created something where there had once been nothing for the very first time in my life.

On my own nickel, I rented a theater for eight consecutive Wednesday nights, wrote monologues for characters I had accessed from the deepest recesses of my psyche, and I created a one-hour romp (which I performed literally stinking of fear, at moments terrified and others, elated).

I was never more proud of myself, and it blew wide open the doors of my self-confidence. I emerged, in my humble opinion, an artist and a changed woman. I was now one poised for, and deserving of, the next level. I met Christopher Guest shortly thereafter and was cast in Best in Show. I was 40 years old, and I was finally in the game. I could never have planned this.

Other momentous occasions where my dreams were about to come true, and yet I wanted nothing more than to flee the scene:

Being offered the opportunity to host the Emmys.

Being asked to host “Saturday Night Live.”

Being asked to give the Commencement speech at Smith College.

When my insides screamed “NO!!” I somehow got my mouth to say “YES AND.”

Life is not all about work — and the scariest places to say “Yes And” are also the most rewarding…in a relationship.

Whoever you choose, your husband, wife or partner, will make you see more about yourself than any navel gazing in solitude could ever reveal.

And if the process isn’t completely horrifying and frustrating, then you’re not doing it right. This will be your most vulnerable place.

I put it off until I was almost 50. Your partner will inevitably see your soft underbelly. Shocking behavior you only read about will start to become your own. Your demon will rise up to righteously destroy your relationship in the guise of saving yourself from really seeing yourself. Your partner will say to you with all the tenderness that situation allows, “What the fuck?” You’ll want to break up with yourself.

Don’t be afraid of this horrible version of you! Face it, embrace it, coddle it, write it a poem, maybe it needs a hug. Shine the light of day on it. Unclaimed and unacknowledged, it’s got the power and its darkest forces will have you enslaved! Accept its influence, mine it for its gold. Yep, sometimes saying “YES AND” is going to take everything you’ve got. But the payoff, trusting in love, is just incredible.

The day after I met my wife, I met my daughter. I don’t really like kids; I’m a dog person. But you couldn’t have designed a better kid for me. She’s witty, wise beyond her years, she has a huge heart, and such patience with the frailties of human nature. I don’t mean to make her sound like the Dalai Lama, but she is exceptional. One day you will meet your child; you may give birth to her, adopt her, she may just wander over or follow you home. We do “meet” them because they are born who they are. We don’t make them, we welcome them. Nothing like knowing they are watching you will make you want to be your best self. Haden was 7 when I met her, she’s now 10 and in eight more years we hope to be dropping her off right here.

Children also remind us that life is constantly changing and moving ever forward. It’s true. It doth not stop. I really came to know this as I turned 40 years old. I’m just a late bloomer, folks. The big 4-0 was much anticipated. I resolved to have a party for myself and actually mark it, celebrate it. Say “YES AND” to it. So I turned 40 years old one day. And you know what happened? I turned 41. THEN, I turned 42! And it just kept on going, just like that, the number kept going up! Wait! Wait! Somebody press the pause button! I just got used to being 40! And it goes even faster as you get older. And the world keeps changing. My advice to you; live in the moment. Stay fluid and roll with those changes. Life is just a big extended improvisation. Embrace the ever changing, ever evolving world with the best rule I’ve ever found. Say “YES AND.”

Accept the world for what it is, and at the same time, make it your own. I especially want you to make it your own. You are a particular variety of person, Ms. Smithie. You have spent the last four years in an environment that has encouraged you to be not just yourself, but your best self, your strongest self.

You will have many opportunities to embrace what the world has for you. I can’t wait to see the ways in which you say “AND.” Remember that Smith Woman entitlement I spoke of earlier? I’m counting on yours to ferociously guard the women’s health care rights our sisters won for us years ago. I know you women of Smith will greet that fight with a big “YES AND,” and any one who tries take them away from you with a huge “NO WAY.”

In conclusion, I know you’ll never forget your experience here and that you are a part of an incredible legacy. I’ll be at a party with my wife, and she’ll be meeting one person after another and if she by chance happens upon a fellow Smithie, both of their eyes will light up. They already share a profound connection; they’ve both had a unique and extraordinary experience. Today I become a Smithie! That same piece of paper that my wife and all of you toiled for years to get, I now get for handshake. I am so proud to be one of you.

Enjoy this day and thank you so much.

Elaina Murray '10: Marriage choices | CJOnline.com

soyemily — Tue, 22 May 2012 13:31:57 -0400

Elaina Murray '10: Marriage choices | CJOnline.com:

I will be married soon here in Topeka. My fiance and I are high school sweethearts, and we’ve been together for more than six years. We are excited to begin this part of our lives together as a family. I’m a woman, and my partner is a man.

Would it change anything if I was marrying a woman?

Marriage is a vital part of our society, bringing stability to our communities. Marriage is a vow to another person and a public pronouncement of one’s priorities of love, companionship, intimacy and family. Marriage fulfills a sense of our shared humanity and, according to the Massachusetts Supreme Court, “whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.”

Kansas does not see the discrimination in preventing her citizens from choosing their life partners in the joys and responsibilities of marriage. The Defense of Marriage Act is blatantly discriminatory against one marginalized group, excluding them from more than 1,000 federal protections of marriage.

All couples who have committed to a life together deserve the same cultural respect, social support and legal protections of marriage.

As a bisexual woman, I could have fallen for a extraordinary woman who promised to always stand by my side. My future spouse happens to have a Y chromosome. I am lucky and grateful that I am able to marry the partner of my choice. I would be heartbroken if that decision was taken away from me as it is from so many others.

Discrimination is always wrong no matter who it affects or how many people continue to marginalize the rights of the minority. Today, the fight is for marriage equality. That’s why I’m asking Sens. Pat Roberts and Jerry Moran and Rep. Lynn Jenkins, as my representatives in Congress, to support the Respect for Marriage Act, which would repeal DOMA.

I am writing in honor of my wedding to my wonderful partner. Our grandchildren will wonder that this was ever a battle at all.

Why I Quit My Job -- Thoughts?

peaceindamideast — Mon, 21 May 2012 21:57:32 -0400

By Jordana Horn

Well, it’s not as if you’re going to be some sort of hausfrau, you know?” a friend said to me over the phone. It was just a passing remark. You know, like how a drive-by shooting is just a short visit.

We were discussing my decision to leave my job as New York correspondent of the Jerusalem Post. It was a hard decision but I felt that I needed to focus on other things–namely, my long-in-progress novel, various freelance gigs, my family, and my pregnancy. To me, the choice had felt like a deliberate choice, individuality above expectations. My friend’s remark made clear, though, that to others, my choice could easily come across as afailure.

When I was younger, I always assumed that I’d be able to do anything I wanted in life, both professionally and personally (healthy sense of self-worth: check). In fact, in an autobiography I wrote in fifth grade, I vividly describe my future, attending the premiere of my first film–based on my bestselling novel, of course–with my loving husband and three daughters, Ruthie, Esther and Aviva. Both the faux-offspring names and their gender are an endless source of amusement for my two boys and my real loving husband.

When you’re a kid, the idea that you might not be able to accomplish everything that you want to–that you might not have the hours in the day, or that fatigue and conflict might drain you of ambition, or that you might have to make compromises on issues like money and childcare–would seem nothing short of absurd.

Even as an adult, my realization that, at the moment, it was just too stressful for me to work full-time (even from home) six days a week–plus take care of three kids, plus be pregnant, plus do my own book and freelance work–was a hard one. It flew in the face of my self-conception and the Ivy League degrees on my wall, and the idea that a smart accomplished woman should and could do it all.

In 1998, I wrote an essay for a magazine in which I said that my own personal drama had “yet to be played out on these grandiose stages of my imagination,” like “a political march in South Africa, a demonstration in Beijing, a boardroom in Hong Kong, or a White House black tie reception.”

“I love ambition–an implicit part of my character–but loathe what it can do to me,” my second-year law student self wrote all those years ago. “I fear all these competitions leading not to my distinguishing myself, but rather stretching me out to the point of unrecognizability on the rack of accomplishments…. more frightening, though, is how easy it is to lose sight of the “what for?” in the blinding light of “what next?” In law school, we are always working toward some new honor which will give us some form of recognition or validation. I have a sneaking feeling, though, that none of these things will ever really, wholly and completely bring either one.”

Stretching out on the rack of accomplishments to the point of unrecognizability is a legitimate fear for an overachiever. But I realize, as I’ve grown up–and as my multiple diplomas from impressive institutions have been hung up on the walls of my kids’ playroom–that my definition of “accomplishments” has slowly changed over the years.

There were plenty of moments as a correspondent for the Jerusalem Post that constituted “accomplishments” in the eyes of others. I’ll always recall covering the UN General Assembly around the clock–ten weeks after giving birth–as politicians from all over the world pontificated that equal women’s rights are critical, and that all should aspire to those ideals. It struck me as somewhat ironic, in light of those grandiose speeches, to have to take breaks from reporting to go pump my breasts on the floor of a stall in the bathroom, as there was apparently nowhere else in the “women-friendly” United Nations that would offer me an electrical outlet and a chair (were it not for the kindness of one security guard willing to break the rules and offer me one of many free conference rooms).

I remember covering Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s meetings with US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and stressing out–not over whether or not peace would be forged in the Middle East that day (likelihood: slim) but whether or not I would make it home in time to host my son’s 6th birthday party (likelihood: equally slim).

As I wrote three to four articles a day, pounding them out amid the feverish deluge of emails and phone calls from editors, I wondered–what, or who, was I doing this for? Was it really for the (far too small) paycheck? Was it for the brief second of validation, when someone, drink in hand at a cocktail party, asked me, “So what do you do?” and I could respond with something that sounded professionally reputable, if not glamorous? How many cocktail parties do I go to anyway? Or was it for what I felt I should do, so as to be regarded in a certain light by others generally?

Ambition and the expectations of others are wavy mirrors: they can distort us until we can barely recognize ourselves, or who we are meant to be. I still want to change the world for the better–but I’m less concerned with “the world”‘ at large (which seems to be preoccupied by LOL cats and idiotic memes) than the part of the world I can manage to touch.

I want to strike a balance between writing and being, between connecting with others with my words and connecting with my family and friends with my deeds–and I think that it is possible, provided that I am not afraid of the opinions of others. I recently read an article in the NYTimes magazine in which a tremendously successful executive said, “God didn’t create the universe so that talented people would be happy.” He said, “It’s not beautiful. It’s hard work. It’s responsibility and deadlines, working till 11 o’clock at night when you want to watch your baby and be with your wife. It’s not serenity and beauty.”

I do want hard work, responsibility, and deadlines–but only within the realm of being able to watch my children and be with my LIFE. The sad truth that we all hate to acknowledge is that I will only come through this way once. My children will only have one mother, and I only have one self to whom to be true.

I will fight to be the best life, mother, and self I can be–no matter what the job title may be after my name.

(From: http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/why-i-quit-my-job/)

Post-war artists at auction - the price of being female

peerreview — Mon, 21 May 2012 20:15:56 -0400

Post-war artists at auction - the price of being female :

It wasn’t long ago that it was hard to be taken seriously as a woman artist. There will be some remedial catch up before women artists have parity on prices.

- Amy Cappellazzo, chairman of post-war and contemporary art development at Christie’s

“The Ovarian-Psycos Bicycle Brigade Make a Space for Women on...

shellypolitik — Sun, 20 May 2012 15:59:00 -0400

The Ovas at Olvera Street in protest.

The Ovas end one of their bi-weekly meet

“The Ovarian-Psycos Bicycle Brigade Make a Space for Women on the Eastside

Two months ago, when 22-year-old Bree’Anna Guzman was murdered in Lincoln Heights, the all-women bike group Ovarian-Pscyos Bicycle Brigade scrapped their previously planned ride to ride instead through the neighborhood to protest the killing.

“Whose Streets,” one woman called out.

“Our Streets” the more than 30 women riding answered.

While many recent bike groups are either bicycling for recreation, bringing awareness to bicyclists on the road, or use the bicycle for social justice movement events, the Ovarian-Psycos Bicycle Brigade is a community inspired women’s movement that does all of the above and then some.

In Los Angeles, fewer than 1 in 5 people cycling were female, according to preliminary data from the Los Angeles County Bicycle Coalition’s most recent bicycle count. While this trend has been the constant in cities across the nation, the number of female bicycle groups in Los Angeles has grown from just a couple a few years ago, to at least four.

The currently all-Latina collective with roots from various parts of the Eastside pride themselves with their exclusivity to women, with sticker slogans like “Ovaries so big, we don’t need no fucking balls.” Their monthly all-women Luna Rides, which takes its name from the moons connection with a woman’s menstrual cycle, bring up to 30 women riders each ride. For their two-year anniversary in July, the Ovarian-Psycos are also planning the first female version of the monthly Critical Mass, which will be called Clitoral Mass.

For many of the women it’s their first time being involved in an all-female collective. The oldest members are 33 and the youngest is 20. Some are artists that ride bikes, and some are pure bicyclists. Yet the Ovarian-Psycos has become a type of sisterhood that, for many, they have never had before.

“Being around women, learning that we can interact in a way that was not hostile or competitive; it’s been a very new experience,” said Magally “Maga” Miranda.

Though the group has found stability recently, the group’s continued existence was never a sure bet. On the very first Luna Ride in July 2010, Xela, the de facto leader of the group at the time, hit a pothole on the road and fell face forward off her bike, hospitalizing her for two weeks. Andrea Ramirez, or “La Blackbird,” recalls that many bike riders didn’t come back after the first ride because they were scared.

Though one half left, and another came back for the second Luna Ride, Xela said, the group stagnated for the first year, never topping more than 20 riders.

“I was worried always that it’s going to die someday,” Xela said.

Yet, right before the Ovarians one-year anniversary, Xela started to recruit core members to better organize the group. After the one-year anniversary at Solidarty ink, and with a fairly consistent 12 core members, the group finally started to take off. Like before, each ride had a theme. Specific workshops involved speakers, and teachers on a range of social issues, and bicycle issues. Some workshops talked about women’s health, while other covered self-defense. Yet, the groups were getting bigger, and the core members were helping spread the word.

Many of the women say they feel they are not taken seriously in the biking community because their rides aren’t as long as traditional rides, there are usually many first-time riders, and the ride will stop and wait for one person. But, these limitations, Ova member Natalie Fraire said, can be a positive.

“We are encouraging a lot more riders and that’s more important,” said Fraire.

Riding as a women group has also made the riders more aware of the difficulties of riding in the city as a woman. Individually, or in small groups, Ova Elvira “Ashes” Arvizo has been catcalled by men on the street, and during one Luna Ride, the group noticed a male motorist was trailing the group. The women stopped and started to yell at the motorist, which caused him to flee.

Creating Sisterhood

As the group has grown, the women have needed to get closer. Many of their biweekly meetings resemble the chaos of a family dinner. At a recent meeting, Maryann “La Fingers” Aguirre would belch across the room, giving many of the girls a laugh, and Fraire ran to the oven to find she burned the artichoke dish brought. If the meeting ever got out of order, a clit checker (meeting organizer) would bellow out a warning to get the meeting back on track.

Each Ova have brought various skills in community organizing, photography, graphic design and bike mechanics which they also share with the rest of the group. Gloria “GLoTography” Vasquez takes most of the photos that are on the groups websites, but she has also taken the time to teach Ovas like Fraire how to use a camera. The group has also helped Vasquez to break her shyness and talk more with women on rides.

“Now run into women across streets and able to converse with them than just pass them by,” said Vasquez.

Each season there are rotating leaders of the group called a left and right ovary, and many of the women are expected to step up to take care of a portion of their work.

Many of the women have never ridden with an all female bike crew, and let alone worked with an all-women group. Yet, the same reason Xela started the group is the same reason the women joined: they couldn’t connect with the rides already in LA.

Andrea “La Blackbird” Ramirez said she could never get comfortable riding with the Midnight Ridazz because men always outnumbered women. Aside from men outnumbering women during Critical Mass, Arvizo said will leave riders behind, and that can deter a young woman-rider to join a ride.

The Ovas offer a space for women, Xela said. And the rides though recreational, can become extremely personal, with some events bringing women to tears. During a stop on their ride that was themed on domestic violence, many women came forward about their experiences.

The personal nature of the rides, and the already numerous LA bike rides is the reason Xela said, why it’s exclusive to women.

“It’s just a time for women. If they are trying to open up, won’t be comfortable opening up if there are men around,” said Aguirre.

Xela, whose been a part of women collectives that have never lasted, said she knew the Ovarian-Pscyos was a different type of all woman collective at the one-year anniversary. Jocelyn “Joss the boss” Hernandez brought a cake she made and designed to the group at the end of an interview at the Boyle Heights online radio station Centro de Comunicación Comunitaria. The cake had a symbol of a car with a slash over it.

“You do that for your sister, your best friend, and she did this for the Ovas. “That’s nice”

For more information on the Ovarians, send an email to ovarian.psycos@gmail.com or go to their website at ovarianpsycos.com.

Thought a lot of you would enjoy this article.

Elaine Greenberg '11 interviews Kimberly Bryant

shepherdsnotsheep — Fri, 18 May 2012 18:50:00 -0400

Elaine Greenberg ‘11 interviews Black Girls Code founder Kimberly Bryant for Engine Yard’s Cloud Out Loud series.

fuckyeahfeminists: <3

spiralofbees — Fri, 18 May 2012 16:12:07 -0400

fuckyeahfeminists:

<3

Wellesley Count Me In: Rosa Lafer-Sousa '09 made her first gift to Wellesley this year....

soyemily — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:15:14 -0400

Wellesley Count Me In: Rosa Lafer-Sousa '09 made her first gift to Wellesley this year....:

Rosa made her gift to Wellesley this year — will you?

wccountmein:

Rosa Lafer-Sousa ‘09 made her first gift to Wellesley this year. Recently, she agreed to further support Wellesley’s fundraising efforts by authoring a letter to her classmates. In the letter, Rosa shared with her fellow alumnae what she learned about the importance of giving back and…

friendlyangryfeminist: the biggest problems with feminist potlucks is that we all bring either...

spiralofbees — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:37:52 -0400

friendlyangryfeminist:

the biggest problems with feminist potlucks is that we all bring either vegan casserole or fetsuses no variation at all.

bananakarenina: villa-kulla: Reporter: I have a question to...

spiralofbees — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:34:44 -0400

bananakarenina:

villa-kulla:

Reporter: I have a question to Robert and to Scarlett. Firstly to Robert, throughout Iron Man 1 and 2, Tony Stark started off as a very egotistical character but learns how to fight as a team. And so how did you approach this role, bearing in mind that kind of maturity as a human being when it comes to the Tony Stark character, and did you learn anything throughout the three movies that you made?

And to Scarlett, to get into shape for Black Widow did you have anything special to do in terms of the diet, like did you have to eat any specific food, or that sort of thing?

Scarlett: How come you get the really interesting existential question, and I get the like, “rabbit food” question?

The respect given to you if you’re a man in the entertainment business, and the respect given to you if you’re a woman in the entertainment business: all perfectly summed up in one idiotically thought out line of questioning.

You know, I always did like Scarlett Johannson.

Photo

spiralofbees — Thu, 17 May 2012 00:53:09 -0400

Alabama Senate Doubles Down on Nation’s Most Draconian...

shellypolitik — Wed, 16 May 2012 22:36:44 -0400

Alabama Senate Doubles Down on Nation’s Most Draconian Anti-Immigration Law

The Alabama State Senate voted 20-7 today on changes to HB 56, the nation’s harshest immigration law. Unlike the replacement bill passed by the House, the Senate billpreserves most of the law, including a provision that requires schools to check theimmigration status of their students. That provision led to 7% of the Hispanic students in Alabama public schools to miss school the day after the law went into effect for fear that the parents of undocumented students would be deported. Because the bill has scared so many students away from school, Alabama schools may lose funding that is dependent on attendance.

The provision scaring children away from schools is not the only harsh provision left intact by the new bill leaves. Unchanged provisions include one that bars undocumented aliens from renting property and another that allows law enforcement to check immigration status based on a “reasonable suspicion.” It also preserves a section that proscribes a variety of penalties, including permanent loss of license, for businesses that hire undocumented workers. Plus, the new bill piles on by adding another harsh provision requiring the state Department of Homeland Security “to post a quarterly list of the names of any undocumented alien who appears in court for a violation of state law, regardless of whether they were convicted.”

The one bright side of the bill is that it clarifies which “business transactions” undocumented immigrants are prevented from entering into with the state. The new bill only requires proof of citizenship for getting car tags and driver’s, business, and commercial licenses — a change that clarifies a provision that has been used to deny water to immigrants in their homes.

Because the regular session of the Senate ends at midnight tonight, the House and Senate much reach a compromise today for these changes to go into effect. Opponents of the law protested before and after the vote by the Senate, and protests are expected to continue. Four of seven protestors who blocked a Senate hallway were led away in handcuffs.

Photo

shellypolitik — Wed, 16 May 2012 22:30:26 -0400

"That was the case for Marianne Bullock a few years ago, when her 18-month-old had a stomach virus...."

spiralofbees — Wed, 16 May 2012 00:51:40 -0400

“That was the case for Marianne Bullock a few years ago, when her 18-month-old had a stomach virus.

“It was the first time that my daughter had really been sick,” she says. “She was not nursing, and she was lethargic.”

Bullock was a personal care assistant in Massachusetts; that day, she called in sick. The next day, she had to take her daughter to the hospital, where she was hydrated. The third morning, her daughter seemed better and Bullock got ready to leave for work.

“As I was walking out the door, she vomited again,” Bullock says. “And I was like, ‘I just have to take her to the hospital.’ And so I called in — and when I called in, the care manager that I spoke to said, ‘You just might as well not come back.’ ”

Bullock was fired. She says the manager actually told her they’d rather hire someone without a child.”

- Working Moms’ Challenges: Paid Leave, Child Care : NPR (via robot-heart-politics)