Wellesley Underground

Interview by Cleo Hereford ‘09

A Delaware native and member of the Nanticoke tribe, Courtney Streett ‘09 is currently the President and Executive Director of the Native Roots Farm Foundation (NRFF). NRFF is a non-profit organization “dedicated to celebrating Native American cultures, protecting open space, cultivating a public garden, and practicing sustainable agriculture.” Prior to founding NRFF, Courtney was previously an associate producer at CBS News working on both the CBS Evening News and 60 Minutes and was also a senior news producer for the Business Insider. 

I was super excited to catch up with my friend and classmate about her exciting new work with the NRFF. 

Cleo: Thanks for chatting with me, Courtney! Before we talk specifically about the Native Roots Farm Foundation, you say NRFF’s story starts with your great-grandparents. Tell us a little bit about them and also your family’s Delaware roots.

Courtney: Thanks, Cleo, for inviting me to share my journey with the Wellesley Underground community!

My family has been in Delaware…since time immemorial. Through my father, I’m a member of the Nanticoke Indian Association and our family tree goes back several hundred years in lower Delaware (since European records were taken). The Nanticokes’ first contact with Europeans was in 1608 with Captain John Smith, yup, the man who kidnapped Pocahontas. The community has survived since then by assimilating into the mainstream, but many aspects of our culture were lost. That includes our relationships with food and nature – rather than seasonally moving between fishing, hunting/foraging, and growing regionally adapted crops, the Nanticoke had to adjust to the European practices of private land ownership and farming in one place year round.

At the turn of the 20th century, my Nanticoke great-grandparents bought a farm. It was unusual for people of color to own property at that time, but they cultivated the land and sold produce like strawberries, raspberries, peas, and tomatoes to passersby at the beach. Through hard work, dedication, and tenacity that property passed down through generations of my family and is now owned by my father’s cousins. I grew up visiting the farm and it’s provided a connection to both the natural world and to my ancestors.

Cleo: Native American communities, like all minoritized communities, are not monolithic. What would you like WU readers to know about the Nanticoke, the tribe that your great-grandparents were members of?

Courtney: We can thank Hollywood for creating the stereotype that all Native American communities live on reservations, have long straight hair, have tepees, and operate casinos.

Indigenous communities have been largely erased from American history – today Pennsylvania doesn’t even recognize any tribal communities. But we know the Lenape, Susquehanna, and Iroquois were some of the area’s first inhabitants.

We are still here! The Nanticoke have a Powwow every September that’s open to the public. Mark your calendar: September 10 and 11, 2022! It’s a celebration of our culture and community and an affirmation of our roots in Delaware.

Cleo: Let’s talk about NRFF. You previously worked as a producer for CBS News and the Business Insider. What made you take the leap into establishing a non-profit organization? Why focus on a public garden and farm?

Courtney: I was living in Brooklyn and working my dream job; and then my dream changed.

After Powwow in 2018, I saw that the farm my great-grandparents had nurtured was for sale. I knew this cultural and agricultural history couldn’t be lost – and I also knew that my partner and I couldn’t afford to buy 100 acres, 10 minutes from the beach.

I had nightmares about the farm disappearing. Because in this area, the crops have been replaced by condos. Lower Delaware has been one of the fastest developing regions of the country. After months of conversations and research, we realized our limitations as individuals,  but that as a collective, we could make a difference. So, we created Native Roots Farm Foundation (NRFF).

Why plants? When creating NRFF, we wanted to celebrate Indigenous communities, the farm’s agricultural history, and also native plants. So, NRFF has a few different components to its mission. We’re working to celebrate local Indigneous communities by protecting open space, creating a public garden with native plants and highlighting what they’re called by the Nanticoke and Lenape, and cultivating a farm that feeds the community using Indigenous agricultural techniques.

I also love plants and getting my hands in the soil – I did research in the Wellesley’s Greenhouses my junior year and presented at the Ruhlman Conference. I didn’t know how that would manifest in my life, but it was a building block for NRFF. Sibs, while on campus (as students or alums) check out the new greenhouse, explore the edible ecosystem, and walk one of the many beautiful trails! You never know how it’ll change your life!

Cleo: Building an organization in the best of times is not easy. How has it been attempting to establish and grow NRFF during the ongoing (never ending) pandemic?

Courtney: Hahaha what an interesting question. We launched NRFF in January 2020…and the rest is history. Lockdown meant we had the time to sit on the computer, file paperwork, and really build a strong foundation for NRFF.

It also meant that events we had planned couldn’t happen. So, we pivoted and started building an online community which has continued to grow and flourish during this never ending pandemic. Every week, we post on social media about native plants, food systems, and Indigenous communities.

(Shameless plug—follow us on Instagram and Facebook!)

Cleo: In addition to protecting land at risk of development, how does climate change factor into your goals for establishing NRFF?

Courtney: Right now, the buzz words in food production are “regenerative agriculture”. Regenerative agriculture is *Indigenous Agriculture*. But, of course, the Indigenous roots of this land stewardship practice are rarely recognized. Instead, regenerative agriculture is celebrated as a brand new way to farm.

Why are we hearing about this now? Most food is grown using industrial agricultural practices that have been linked to pollution, soil erosion, intensive water use, reduced biodiversity, chronic illness, and greenhouse gas emissions which are causing climate change.

Regenerative agriculture differs because it’s a holistic approach to land management. It recognizes the interconnectedness of soil, plants, water, animals, and people without centering humans. In practice, regenerative agriculture focuses on nurturing soil health, because that determines the health of both people and the planet.

Most importantly, regenerative agriculture is about community and equity – principles and approaches NRFF celebrates. Let’s get back to the roots and work with nature to address climate change.

Cleo: In addition to posting about sustainable farming and plant life, you have also posted about rejecting blood quantum and have highlighted those with both Black and Native ancestry on the Native Roots IG page. As someone who is both Black and Native, why has it been important for you to post about those topics?

Courtney: My mother’s parents were from the Caribbean and I always saw my two cultures, Indigenous and Caribbean, as being separate. With mom you eat flying fish and callaloo. With dad you eat fry bread and succotash.

But then I heard a song that stopped me. It was “Ba Na Na” a blend of Caribbean beats and Native drumming (by the Indiegnous group The Halluci Nation). The lyrics are: “…Carnival season, this life for the books / I jump and I wave and I wine and I juke…” Just like this song mixes genres, I can and other people can, too. It’s time for all of us to embrace our full cultures and identities.

Cleo: What are your long and short-term plans for NRFF? Where do you see the organization in 5 years?

Courtney: In five years, I see NRFF welcoming the Wellesley family to its fully operational public garden and sustainable farm!

More immediately, we have our first big event of 2022 next weekend and I’m looking forward to continuing to build community, making Tehim Juice which has become an NRFF staple (Tehim is Nanticoke for strawberry), and meeting new people! We’re also hoping to have an intern this summer and just submitted a Hive Internship Project.

Cleo: Finally, how can your Wellesley sibs and WU readers support you and your organization?

We’re still a new organization, in the startup phase, and I’m so grateful for the support of the Wellesley family!

You can help uplift NRFF’s message by following us on social media, sharing the organization with your community, grabbing our signature shirt that says “This shirt saves farms”, or making a donation.

But don’t stop with NRFF, get to know your native plants! Plant them in your yard, window box, or planter. Learn what they’re called in the Indigenous language where you live. And foster a love for your local ecology.

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For more information on NRFF or to support the organization: https://www.nativerootsde.org

You can also follow NRFF on Instagram @nativeroots_de

There are few words that elicit a similar level of dread in average people as taxes do. Simply mentioning the word results in immediate not-so-subtle groans and sighs. This reaction is justified: even beyond the stress of simply completing taxes, the tax system, like many institutions, has a history of racial prejudice. As Professor Dorothy Brown documents in her book The Whiteness of Wealth, the incorporation of new tax benefits and credits like lower taxation on stock income or marriage tax incentives throughout the years has been aimed at lowering the contributions of whiteAmericans.

Nevertheless, there are many tools within the tax code that you can leverage to support yourself or others. Unfortunately, these resources are often not fully taken advantage of due to the overly complex language and confusing rules of the tax code. Adding onto this, some taxpayers, particularly those who are low-income or are non-English speakers, are manipulated by fraudulent tax filers who steal the refunds they deserve. Regardless of whether you hope to use the tax code to support your justice initiatives, make sure your family has the right resources, or file your own taxes, it is important to learn more about taxes.

The tax system is unique in that it has an individual’s financial and familial circumstances and because of this, it has been and can be used to provide support to historically disadvantaged groups. Some salient programs that have had national benefits include three refundable tax credits: the Earned Income Tax Credit, the American Opportunity Credit, and the Child Tax Credit. Refundable tax credits differ from nonrefundable tax credits in that they can return extra money to you, boosting your tax refund. If a refundable credit or a partially refundable credit reduces your tax liability to zero, the government will give you an amount of the unused refundable portion of the credit as a tax refund. Thus, while nonrefundable tax credit can reduce your liabilities (the amount you owe the government) to zero, refundable tax credits go beyond this, with the possibility of the government paying you a certain amount of eligible money. These refundable credits are particularly important to low income taxpayers because they generally need to pay the government a lower amount of money, making them often unable to benefit from all of the resources provided by the credit if it is non-refundable.

The first refundable credit, the Earned Income Tax Credit, which provides workers with a refund of a certain percentage of their earnings, has been the most effective anti-poverty program for working age people. The American Opportunity Credit, a partially refundable tax credit that can give students a credit of up to $2,500 for qualifying higher educational expenses, has been able to offset the costs of college. The Child Tax Credit offers financial assistance to low-income families with children and has proven to decrease child poverty and increase social mobility for many families. During the pandemic, President Biden used the tax code as an engine to alleviate some monetary burden for low-income families. His monumental expansion of the Child Tax Credit  lifted  3.7  million  children  out  of  poverty  in  December  and cut child poverty rates by around 30 percent. When filing taxes, learn whether your community, family, or yourself can qualify for these programs because they have been a positive force across the country.

While the tax code has been used in historic ways during the past couple of years to uplift many Americans, these changes are not permanent and action needs to be taken to support them.

The Build Back Better Act, which incorporated many of the social tax expansions like the Advanced Child Tax Credit changes, is currently being revised and repacked into different proposals and policies. With the future of these crucial programs on the line, it is more important now than ever to reach out to your senator advocating for passing this bill. But there is advocacy that can be done beyond speaking to elected officials. You can pass a short certificate online on the IRS website to learn about preparing returns and more generally about the tax code. Then, you can file taxes for yourself, your family or others at a Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) site. With the tax deadline quickly approaching on April 18th (or April 19th for MA and ME), it is necessary to maximize the potential of the tax code, both by pushing for new reforms and helping everyday Americans access them.

Most importantly, remember that behind the verbose language and excessive rules are learnable tools that you can use to support yourself and those around you.

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Eshika Kaul ‘23 is an Economics and Peace & Justice Studies student at the College. Her passion for public service has led her to expand volunteering opportunities for students and lead a $5,000 week-long civic-oriented trip as a Ministrare Coordinator. Off-campus, Eshika has personally leveraged her tax certification to secure tens of thousands of dollars in benefits for under-resourced clients at the Federal Tax Clinic of Harvard Legal Services Center. 

Please reach out to me at eshika.kaul@wellesley.edu if you are interested in learning more about taxes or getting involved with volunteering.

Disclaimer: A version  of this article has appeared in The Wellesley News.

Since we last posted about Texas’ abortion ban (SB8), there have been a number of abortion restriction related bills passed. Just this week both Florida and Kentucky passing bills with the latter banning abortions after 15 weeks effective July 1, 2022. Now more than ever, it’s important to local abortion funds in states imposing restrictions on reproductive rights, particularly given that these bans often cause the most harm for those who are low income and/or POC. 

If you have the means, we’ve put together a list of some funds for you to support: 

Alabama

• Yellowhammer Fund
  
• Alabama Cohosh Collaborative

Florida

• Broward Women’s Emergency Fund
  
• Tampa Bay Abortion Fund
  
• Florida Access Network
  
• Women’s Emergency Network
  

Kentucky

• Kentucky Health Justice Network
  
• A Fund, Inc

Oklahoma

• Roe Fund
  

Texas

• Frontera Fund
  
• Jane’s Due Process
• Texas Equal Access Fund
• Lilith Fund
• West Fund

Multi-State

• Indigenous Women Rising
  
• ARC Southeast (Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, South Carolina & Tennessee) 

Stephanie Waslohn is a professional archivist and amateur everything else. She lives in her hometown in Northern California with her small dog familiar.

Shelly Anand, WU Founder: The last two years have been trying to say the least. Overall, how has the pandemic gone for you?

Stephanie Waslohn: I’ve been both really lucky and fairly lonely. I felt so lost in space living alone and suddenly working from home in the early pandemic that I decided to think about my isolation like an astronaut focused on my mission. That mission has changed over the last two years, but the metaphor has let me redefine what’s necessary for my survival.

Shelly: One of the highlights of the pandemic for me has been watching your garment sewing journey on Instagram (IG handle @lemonseltzer). What made you start (or re-start) garment sewing?

Stephanie: Honestly? Panic.

I’d like to say it was sustainability, or out of pure desire for the kind of clothes I couldn’t buy as a fat person, but the truth is I planned my first sewing capsule during wildfires in my hometown– one tab open on a fire map, the others sewing patterns and fabric stores. I was taught to sew as a kid; I had my mom’s old machine and my rusty skills in a vast ocean of time and uncertainty. My personal motto is “do what you can and let go of the rest.” Planning sewing projects was something I could do at that moment.

I will say I wouldn’t have latched onto it without the work of Muna and Broad, an indie sewing pattern company who specialize in plus sizes. Knowing that they designed for larger bodies meant I could mentally skip the fear of needing to adjust a pattern drastically.

Shelly: You also talk about how painstaking the process can be, how you have learned so many new methods of sewing, and how it has been a lesson in patience. What are some key takeaways?

Stephanie: Cribbing from Octavia Butler: happiness is steady progress towards a worthy goal. Sewing is a physical manifestation of that personal truth for me. (Hobbies, dude, they rock.)

Also! Social media is whatever, but finding a community of fat makers and designers through it has been rewarding. My greatest inspiration is other fat people living their sartorial truth. I teach myself skills piecemeal project by project, but the thoughtful work of being part of a community based in mutual inspiration is what keeps me coming back.

Shelly: I absolutely love how you are expressing self love and body positivity through bespoke clothing. How has this process been for you with respect to loving yourself and loving your body?

Stephanie: Body acceptance is both at the center of this work, and an after-thought. From a pragmatic point of view, the size range is the first thing I check when I look at a sewing pattern. Loving my body won’t magically extend a limited size range to fit my hips. By the same token, loving myself won’t teach me how to adjust a pattern for my body, but it sure as shit makes doing it a lot easier in application.

The revolutionary part for me is the freedom of aesthetic self-expression– for most of my life my main criteria for clothing was “does it fit?” rather than “do i like it?” A (literal) bind made all the more fun house mirror-esque by the plus size industry that historically offers a pretty warped version of what fat consumers want. It’s really rewarding to define for myself the intersection of comfort and self-expression with less external pressure, while knowing I’m partially opting out of yet another system built on the exploitation of women’s labor.

Shelly: How does it feel having been made to measure clothing in a world that doesn’t cater to fat bodies.

Stephanie: Shitty. Even in sewing, the big four pattern companies have atrocious sizing, and many indie pattern companies choose to only offer a limited size range. I have the personal rule not to buy a pattern (or a garment) where I wear the largest size.

But clothing is the tip of the iceberg in a world that rejects fat bodies– anti-fatness creates systemic barriers to health care at the most life threatening, limiting travel, where we can eat in restaurants and what personal services we can receive, who will hire us/how much we’re paid, access to hobbies that require specialized gear, all the way down to mundane risk like the weight limit of my household step stool. There is no sphere of my life untouched by my body type. And I say this as a privileged fat person– I’m a white, cis, and often perceived as “not that fat.” (As an aside, that’s like… a quote from my Wellesley undergrad. After standing up against a fatphobic statement about another student, I was informed I was the appropriate, proportional kind of fat like I should be flattered. The 2000’s were wild, man.)

Shelly: You actually helped me review and edit the manuscript of my upcoming picture book I Love My Body Because, co-authored by Nomi Ellenson (sister of my W bestie Hannah Ellenson '08), a picture book I hope will teach kids about body positivity, body acceptance, that someone being fat isn’t bad or negative, that its beautiful, that all bodies are good and capable of so many things. What are your thoughts on the body positivity movement? On the movement to fight fatphobia? How far are we from where we need to be?

Stephanie: The body positivity movement at its core, and its best, is based on the work of fat liberationists. The deeply personal internal shifts of meeting our bodies where they are can be both personally rewarding and serve as a gateway to building a more equitable future.

The way I see it, I’m fat like my eyes are brown. They are both two equal truths about my body. If eye color was as likely to determine the quality of my medical care as my body size, that’s how far we are from where we need to be.

Not to say that my little brother didn’t tease me that my "brown eyes look like poo” but it’s a funny reminder of the scales of impact. I love the idea that your book is for the next generation of kids finding more body equity and self acceptance.

Shelly: Which pieces have been your favorite so far?

Stephanie: I really love my Cobden Chore coat. It’s a perfect California three season coat, and was my first top stitching. A professional sewist asked me the same question recently and I pointed to the coat I’d worn in, only to see her politely laugh and announce that she loved that I left in my jacked up top stitching. I’m an imperfect maker and loving it anyway is like blowing a kiss to a perfectionist past me stalled by disliking being bad at a new skill long enough to get good.

Sometimes the materials guide me to the final garment– for example this gorgeous Japanese import linen was planned for another garment. Now it’s a beautiful yet comfortable dress that feels like I’m wearing a piece of art.

Shelly: You’ve taken on other interesting projects that you’ve shared with your followers on instagram including your renovating an RV. WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?

Stephanie: My pandemic freak out! I went full snail self-protection. I could unpack why I made the choice, but the main gist is it allowed me to feel in control in a world and a time when that is rare. I’m deeply privileged that my brother lets me park it on his rural acreage in our hometown, the same place I was watching so closely on the map and where his home was saved from the fires. It’s at the top of a hill with some privacy and outdoor space that offers the scenic background to my sewing photography.

Minus cursing the heavens when I bonk my head on a low bedroom beam, the trade of living small’s physical restrictions is worth the freedom of outdoor space and knowing I can weather whatever comes. I don’t talk about personal finance much as part of my social media presence, but the tiny living does help my craft budget.

Shelly: You have also had some interesting encounters with deer over the pandemic. Care to share?

Stephanie: I’m a very niche disney princess! The combination of a high deer population, California drought, and my rural cottage core raised bed garden fantasies mean we’re good judies. A pair of fawns started hanging around the property sleeping under a trailer after their mother was hit by a car. Besides my resident deer, there’s a herd of wild turkeys, hares, quails, and so many types of birds. I even walked upon a coyote stalking prey once!

Shelly: For our readers who have dreams of taking on projects, re-visiting skills or learning new ones, any advice?

Stephanie: Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Seriously.

Originally posted by phillypu

What was the best part of the year? It was awful, we know. But anything good?

It’s Indigenous Peoples’ Day (#f*ckColumbus) - what better way to commemorate the day and show solidarity than to support Native organizations and social media accounts. I’ve put together the following list to help get you started:

• Native Roots Farm Foundation (https://www.nativerootsde.org/): A non-profit organization dedicated to “celebrating Native American cultures, protecting open space, cultivating a public garden, and practicing sustainable” founded by fellow alum Courtney Streett ‘09
• SLC Air Protectors (@SLCAir): Native-led 501c3 that addresses the air pollution in Utah, while supporting Indigenous stewardship; Venmo: SLC-AirProtectors
• Indigenous Peoples Day NYC (https://ipdnyc.org/):  A 24 hour celebration of dance, culture, and ceremony on Lanapehoking/Randall’s Island, NYC
  
• Lakota People’s Law Project (IG: @lakotalaw)
  
• Honor the Earth (https://www.honorearth.org/)
• Indigenous Food Lab (IG: @indigenousfoodlab): An org focused on creating access to Indigenous education & foods
• Tewa Women United (https://tewawomenunited.org/): Located in the Tewa homelands, the org works to grow community and end violence against women, girls, and the earth
• Indigenous Women Rising (https://www.iwrising.org/): An org focused on sexual health and reproductive justice accessibility for Native families
• Native American Rights Fund (https://www.narf.org/): “Since 1970, the Native American Rights Fund (NARF) has provided legal assistance to Indian tribes, organizations, and individuals nationwide who might otherwise have gone without adequate representation.”
• Indian Law Resource Center (https://indianlaw.org/)
• Land Rights Now (https://www.landrightsnow.org/): An org that mobilizes and engages active citizens, media, communities and organizations worldwide to promote and secure the land rights of Indigenous Peoples and local communities.
• American Indian College Fund (https://collegefund.org/)
• Indigenous Environmental Network (https://www.ienearth.org/)
• Coalition to Stop Violence Against Native Women (IG: @csvanw; https://www.csvanw.org/)
• Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women USA (https://mmiwusa.org/)
  
• Partnership with Native Americans (http://www.nativepartnership.org/site/PageServer?pagename=pwna_home): A 501 ©(3) nonprofit organization “committed to championing hope for a brighter future for Native Americans living on remote, isolated and impoverished reservations.”
• Native American Heritage Association (https://www.naha-inc.org/):  NAHA is a charitable non-profit organization dedicated to “helping Native American families in need living on Reservations in South Dakota and Wyoming”
• Inuit Tapirit Kanatami (https://www.itk.ca/help-inuit-communities-thrive/):  Works to improve the health and wellbeing of Inuit in Canada “through research, advocacy, public outreach and education.”
  
• Native Wellness Institute (https://www.nativewellness.com/)
• Warrior Women Project (https://www.warriorwomen.org/)
• The Redhawk Native American Art Council (https://www.redhawkcouncil.org/): A not for profit organization “founded and maintained by Native American artists and educators serving the tristate [New York] area.”
  
• Indigenous People’s Power Project (https://www.ip3action.org/who-we-are/): A nonviolent direct action training and support network “advancing Indigenous communities’ ability to exercise their inherent rights to environmental justice, cultural livelihood, and self-determination”
• Alaska Rising Tide (IG: @alaskarisingtide)
• Native Womens Wilderness (IG: @nativewomenswilderness; https://www.nativewomenswilderness.org/):  A nonprofit organization with the purpose of “inspiring and raising the voices of Native Women in the Outdoor Realm.”  
• Sacramento Native American Health Center (https://www.snahc.org/)

Last night, the Texas State Legislature passed SB8 which effectively bans abortions as early as six weeks prohibiting them “whenever an ultrasound can detect what lawmakers defined as a fetal “heartbeat.” 

Twitter reactions to the bill’s passage as well as the Supreme Court’s failure to take action on an emergency appeal noted the severity of the situation. 

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Re: SB 8: 

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So what can you do? Here are some organizations and abortion funds on the ground in Texas you can support: 

• The Afiya Center (Dallas, TX; advocacy organization dedicated to transforming the lives of Black Women and Girls through Reproductive Justice)
• Avow 
• Bridge Collective (Austin, TX)
• Buckle Bunnies Fund
• Clinic Access Support Network (Houston, TX)
• Frontera Fund (Rio Grande Valley)
• Fund Texas Choice
• Jane’s Due Process
• Lilith Fund
• Texas Equal Access Fund
• West Fund (West Texas)
• Whole Women’s Health Alliance
• Whole Women’s Health

You can also support funds in neighboring states which will likely become vital in helping Texas residents access care: 

• Cobalt Fund (Colorado)
• Indigenous Women Rising (New Mexico)
• Mariposa Fund (New Mexico)
• New Mexico Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice 
• Reproductive Equality Fund of the Boulder Valley Women’s Health Center (Colorado)

To learn more about SB8, you can sign up for this virtual event on Thursday, September 9th from 12 - 1:30pm CST hosted by the Texas Equal Access Fund, the Lilith Fund and the Lawyering Project: 

https://secure.everyaction.com/ajAOV1gyPk6t4kdOIMJ5vA2?emci=1486cf78-e70a-ec11-981f-501ac57ba3ed&emdi=a388d5ec-e70a-ec11-981f-501ac57ba3ed&ceid=10801602

For those living in states outside of Texas, you can also check to see what, if any, reproductive rights-related legislature may be in the works in your home state and also contact your local state representative/senator to make your stance on the issue known. 

In early August 2001, I set down my bag in a simple dormitory in the village of Bol’shie Koty on the coast of Siberia’s Lake Baikal. “We each get a bed, cupboard, and closet space, and there’s a cool Russian stove. Our room overlooks the lake!” I enthused in my journal. Bol’shie Koty, whose 150 summer residents dwindle to only 80 in the deep Siberian winter, is, like many communities along the nearly 400-mile-long lake, accessible only by boat. The crescent-shaped lake is the world’s deepest (over a mile), the world’s oldest (at least 25 million years), and holds the most water of any lake (around 22% of the planet’s fresh surface water). Unique as well as superlative, Baikal hosts hundreds, if not thousands of animal species found nowhere else on earth, including sponges, fish, amphipods, and a freshwater seal. In remote southern Siberia, its watershed drains vast expanses of Mongolian steppe and Russian taiga, and the lake holds a somewhat mythical place in Russian culture. As part of the inaugural expedition of the Wellesley-Baikal program, which paired a spring course on Baikal history, literature, and ecology with summer study at the edge of the lake, I had rejoined my classmates after graduating from Wellesley and spending a summer in my home state of Vermont. 

Over three weeks we explored the lake and its surrounding towns and forests, taking water samples and plant inventories and meeting local scientists, artists, land managers and even a shaman with a double thumbnail. On that gravelly shoreline, while also at the figurative shore where college meets adulthood, I was enchanted by the ways this place burst with both novelty and familiarity, and I immersed myself in observation to make connections between them.

Juneteenth is nearly upon us and WU encourages all of our fellow non-Black alums to truly think about what the day means to our Black siblings. Further, it is important for allies and accomplices to keep the perspective that, while some may feel it important that Juneteenth be recognized as a national holiday, there is the very real possibility that the day could become commercialized or whitewashed in a way that is not beneficial to the Black community. And that while the day may be formally recognized, voting rights in states where there are significant black populations are being stripped away, abortion rights are being threatened, police brutality is still a thing and there is an ongoing discussion (war) on Critical Race Theory in US public schools and institutions. 

While you contemplate that, WU also encourages you to financially support, if possible, organizations focused on Black women as well as Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs). Donating to Wellesley is great but HBCUs in particular often have much smaller endowments and resource pools than PWIs (and sometimes are deprived of money that is rightfully owed to them). We have put together a list of organizations and HBCUs for you to consider supporting on this Juneteenth: 

ORGANIZATIONS

Black Mamas Bailout

Black Mamas Matter Alliance

SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective

Brown Girls Do Ballet

The Loveland Foundation 

Black Women’s Health Imperative 

National Black Women’s Justice Institute

Black Girls Code 

Black Alliance for Just Immigration (BAJI)

Southerners on New Ground (SONG) 

Beacon Hill Black Alliance

The Foundation for Black Women’s Wellness

The Black Women’s Agenda 

Black Women’s Blueprint

Black Girls Smile

Marsha P. Johnson Institute 

HBCUs

The HBCU Foundation 

The United Negro College Fund

Alabama A&M (Alabama) 

Alcorn State University (Mississippi)

Bennett College (women’s college; North Carolina)

Bowie State University (Maryland)

Clark Atlanta University (Georgia)

Dillard University (Louisiana) 

Fisk University (Tennessee) 

Florida A&M (Florida) 

Grambling State University (Louisiana) 

Hampton University (Virginia) 

Howard University (Washington, DC) 

Jackson State University (Mississippi) 

Kentucky State University (Kentucky) 

Langston University (Oklahoma) 

Lincoln University (Pennsylvania) 

Meharry Medical College (Tennessee) 

Mississippi Valley State University (Mississippi) 

Morgan State University (Maryland) 

Morehouse College (Georgia) 

Norfolk State University (Virginia) 

North Carolina A&T State University (North Carolina) 

Prairie View A&M (Texas) 

Savannah State University (Georgia) 

Southern University (Louisiana) 

South Carolina State University (South Carolina) 

Spelman College (Georgia)

Tennessee State University (Tennessee) 

Tuskegee University (Alabama) 

Virginia State University (Virginia) 

West Virginia State University (West Virginia) 

Xavier University of Louisiana (Louisiana) 

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If museums and/or cultural organizations are more of interest, see this list of Black/African American institutions we put together last year. 

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Cleo Hereford ‘09

Interview by Cleo Hereford ‘09

Wellesley Underground loves seeing our sibs involved in the political process at all levels but particularly the local, municipal level where substantial change can be affected. In North Carolina, one of our sibs has joined the race for Durham City Council in Ward 1. A 2009 Wellesley graduate, Marion Johnson also received a degree in Public Policy from Duke University in 2014. After time spent in Washington, DC, Johnson returned to North Carolina, where she grew up, and currently works for Frontline Solutions, a black-owned consulting firm that “serves the philanthropic and nonprofit sectors.” 

We caught up with Marion to find out more about her run for City Council. 

Thanks for chatting with WU, Marion! You grew up in North Carolina, and you’re now running for Durham City Council. Why run for the City Council and why this year?

Thanks so much for having me! I’m a big fan of y’all. I’ve worked on a few Durham City Council campaigns, and running for office has been something I’ve been strongly considering doing for several years. I planned to take 2020 off from all political work so that I could really think through whether now was the time. Obviously, 2020 did not turn out to be a relaxing year at all! But it did become a very clarifying year. Durham was already facing a housing crisis and an economic crisis, and when COVID-19 hit, it just magnified those crises for our most vulnerable neighbors. So that clarified for me that we need as many leaders as possible who are committed to making progressive choices for Durham, to make this city as accessible, affordable, and livable as possible. And now was the right time. 

Tell us a little bit about Durham and what you love most about the city.

Durham is hands down my favorite place I’ve ever lived. I came here to get my masters’ degree in public policy, and fell in love with this city that has the strongest commitment to community organizing and local advocacy I have ever seen. Durham is just as passionate about social justice as it is about food, so I’ve definitely found my people. 

After attending Wellesley and then living in Washington, DC, you returned home to North Carolina. How did your time away change your perspective on your home state?

I didn’t expect to miss North Carolina so much! My plan when I went to college was to move to Washington and get involved in federal or international policy. I had that typical adolescent need to get out and do something prestigious. But actually working at the federal level taught me how slowly that work typically moves. Things move so much faster at the local level, and you see the tangible impact on people’s day-to-day lives so clearly. So I think my priorities shifting from prestige to purpose made me see North Carolina differently, and moving to Durham specifically sealed the deal for me. 

The general theme of your campaign’s platform seems to be ‘justice:’ housing justice, environmental justice, accessibility justice among others. Why is that specifically the focus of your campaign? 

People have been talking for a long time about the difference between equality and equity. I think we as a society are (or at least need to be) at the point where we stop talking about that distinction because it isn’t moving us forward anymore. We need to be talking about justice, and about liberation. So justice feels like the right grounding for the moment and movement we’re in. 

Under Social Justice, you call for a commitment from the City Council to be “explicitly anti-racist, not just non-racist.” We’ve heard a lot about this distinction particularly in the last year. In terms of municipal governance, how can city governments be more intentionally anti-racist especially in a city like Durham where about 40% of residents are Black?

To me, anti-racism is about actively dismantling the status quo, which upholds white-centered power structures; and building new structures and systems that center communities of color. In a city like Durham, Black people are disproportionately hurt by a status quo that keeps displacing, criminalizing, and ignoring long-standing communities. So we have to explicitly commit to redressing harm, and not hide behind race-neutral language. We need to focus the kind of attention that typically goes to white communities, especially wealthy ones, on our communities. Even things as seemingly mundane as sidewalk repair or lead paint removal should prioritize majority Black and brown neighborhoods. 

Speaking of the last year, it’s been eventful to say the least. First, how are you and second, what did you come away with after 2020 in thinking about things like advocacy and service (Non Ministrari sed Ministrare)?

Thanks for asking! Overall, I’m doing well. The pandemic really magnified my existing mental health issues - I have anxiety, depression, and OCD, and all of my typical coping mechanisms got shattered by the quarantine. I lost a Wellesley sister to COVID-19. My dad, who lives in Nigeria, contracted it as well. I haven’t hugged my mother, who also lives in Nigeria, since 2019. But I also have the privilege of full-time employment, at a job that values our mental health. I have the privilege of a happy marriage to a woman who doesn’t make me feel unsafe in my own home. I was able to quarantine at home without significant disruption to my life, and I have health insurance. So I feel more responsible than ever to fight for a world where more people have the kind of baseline stability that I do, frankly. That world is not just possible, it’s critical. Because people are dying for the lack of it. 

Lastly, at WU we’re all for fighting the good fight but we’re also big proponents of self-care (and napping) so we also have to ask how are you caring for yourself these days? 

I have really doubled down on being a plant lady. I have so many houseplants now, and also have an ever-growing garden in our backyard. Tending to plants and growing food is very restorative. I also play The Sims 4, which is where I create the world I want to see in real life. My Sims world has numerous unions, assertive green policies, and well-designed (not to brag) affordable housing. So when I need to blow off steam, I’m likely heading to my garden or my Sims. 

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For more information on Marion’s campaign, check out her website: https://www.mariontjohnson.com/

As someone who has followed the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s ups and downs over the last few years, I naturally activated a 7-day Apple TV trial in order to watch Prince Harry and Oprah’s 6-part series The Me You Can’t See. After watching the trailer, I thought the series would be emotional but perhaps wasn’t fully prepared for the full weight of the experience that was to come. 

I watched the first episode that featured Lady Gaga and Chopped winner Rashad Armstead among others and quickly realized that this was not a binge-able series (at least not for me). Over the course of the series, viewers are introduced to mental health experts but also the stories of real life people globally who have experienced mental health struggles. 

Boxer Ginny Fuchs who struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Syrian refugee Fawzi currently living in a refugee camp in Greece and grappling with trauma in the wake of his brother’s violent war-related death. 

Ambar who was diagnosed with schizophrenia after the death of her father. 

Glenn Close’s sister, Jessie, who was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder.

The best thing about the series was not only the range of different stories and diagnoses but also the way in which those in various stages of healing are depicted throughout the series. Some like Lady Gaga (referred to by Stefani in the series) have found a set of supports and treatments that work for them while others like Rashad had just started the process of healing at the time of filming. My favorite part of the series was the discussion of the Zimbabwe-based Friendship Bench. The Friendship Bench model utilizes members of the community, many being grandmothers or maternal figures, training them to provide a supportive ear on a bench located in the community for those unable to access more formal treatment options. Discussion of this model served as the basis for further conversation about global mental health access particularly in rural or under resourced countries as well as how existing community resources can be used in order to address mental health issues and build connections for people who may feel isolated or disconnected. 

‘Enjoyed’ is probably not the right word to describe my reaction after finishing the series over the course of a week (again breaks definitely required). Having experienced my own challenges with depression, anxiety and trauma some episodes were especially hard to get through and at times required either a yoga session or for me to watch something light and/or mindless (The Parkers, for example). I will say, however, that I was profoundly affected by the series. It was comforting, for lack of a better word, to see people in the healing process working through their issues whether through treatment or building community or spending time with family but more importantly, owning their mental illnesses not as their identities but  more so as a part of their lives that they fully acknowledge they must contend with. For those who may be wondering or hesitant, this was not the Oprah and Harry show though they did share their own experiences with mental health in a way that felt like additional narratives among others being told. 

If you’re interested in behavioral health access or simply open conversations about mental illness, The Me You Can’t See is a worthwhile and, in my opinion, a must see series.

Trigger warnings for discussions of: child loss; death; eating disorders; OCD; schizophrenia; sexual assault; substance abuse; suicide/suicidal ideation; unwanted pregnancy; war-related death

(image by Susan Haejin Lee for NBC News, from this amazing article about how South Asian women are taking over from yt lady appropriators!)

Dear [Insert Name of Yoga Teacher/Studio],

Yoga as you know has its roots in India. American culture has greatly benefitted from these ancient practices including not just yoga but ayurveda and Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, Sufi Islam generally.

I hope that practitioners and monetary beneficiaries of yoga practices, particularly those who are not of South Asian descent, take the time to call for global support of the Indian people who are dying by the thousands daily– [insert personal anecdote about your own family impacted and/or some statistics from an article. Yell at them about how angry you are regarding third world tropes that India is overpopulated and poor and this was bound to happen. Tell them how this is reminiscent of American Foundations sending money to support population control programs during the Emergency under Indira Gandhi.)

I hope to see something from [you/name of Yoga studio] soon.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

note from the author: i actually did send this email out.

For those who haven’t been following, India is currently overrun by the Coronavirus with upwards of 300,000 new infections being reported daily. The country lacks sufficient vaccine access for its citizens and is running out of hospital beds, oxygen and medication. 

Wellesley Underground stands in support of all of our Indian siblings, both those residing in India now as well as those with family members in the country. While many in the US and other Western countries are hyper focused on “getting back to normal,” it is clear that there is, yet again, two realities for many of us as it relates to issues of inequity, equitable access to healthcare and oppression. 

If you wish to support ongoing COVID efforts in India, we have put together a list of resources and suggested places to financially support if you are able: 

• Ongoing Fundraisers Related to COVID-19 Distress 
• Twitter Thread of ways to help/funds/etc. (@MythiliSK)
• India is Facing a COVID Crisis (Equality Labs; includes resource list)
• #SponsorAGirl (Myna Mahila Foundation)
• Hemkunt Foundation 
• KhalsaAid
• GiveIndia
• Feeding From Far
• CARE - India COVID-19 Emergency 
• COVID Relief Donation Form + Suggestions (@IndiraDammu)
• Mission Oxygen 
• South Asian Student Fundraiser (GiveIndia)

On Tuesday, April 13th, the Class of 2009 is hosting the following talk which is open to all members of the Wellesley Community. 

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From Abortion Care to Parenting: Supporting Folks throughout the Spectrum of Pregnancy

Date: Tuesday, April 13th

Time: 7pm EST

Register in advance here

Megan Aebi Opeña (she/her) is a Latina, mother, doula, and community activist. She trained as a community based doula while studying for her MPH at Boston University, became a member of the Doula Project in 2015, and eventually became a certified full-spectrum doula. Megan has supported over 50 families throughout the perinatal period and over 200 folks during abortions. She has delivered and designed trainings on full-spectrum doula work for over 500 doulas in 3 countries and 10 States, with an emphasis in anti-racism work. Her goal is to provide people with access to information and support.

She lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband, toddler, bonus son, and dog Toast.

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Bring your questions!

Having your first kid during a global pandemic makes for a very weird experience. Though the much anticipated “quarantine baby boom” turned out not to be the reality, there were still many pregnancies that started, continued, or wrapped up in 2020-2021.

Being pregnant during a pandemic is about as isolating as you’d expect. Reduced immunity plus *gestures vaguely* everything meant that a lot of people grew a person in unprecedented ways. What I struggled with the most (beyond the overarching panic and dread of a world on fire) was that there was no benchmarking. I could have made it nine months at work before telling anyone, because they only saw me on video conference from the clavicle up. There were no hospital tours, no childbirth classes, no expectant parenting groups. 

Whenever you’re going through it, there seems to be no middle ground between dry, evidence-based medicine and projecting yourself entirely into the astral plane for communing with the ancestors. Here are a few things that helped me through my pregnancy, and some things I wish I’d known earlier.

Illustration Credit: Mercedes deBellard

Prep work

There are plenty of guides about how much you should have saved or what kind of physical shape you should be in. Some of that is helpful.

Oddly missing from those guides is “get a handle on your traumas.” Talk to a therapist. Talk to a partner. Talk to yourself in a diary where you ask yourself questions about what you want to carry with you and what terrifies you about having a kid. There are questionnaires for people donating living organs, and it does not hurt to say, “Hey, if there is a problem with ANY OF THE MYRIAD OF THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG, how would I work through those feelings? What are the boundaries I want for this process that will make me feel safer or in control?””

If you’re getting pregnant with someone who will raise this kid with you, get into it with them. Have very specific conversations about what you will do about parental leave, diapers, daycare, requests for tattoos from a twelve-year-old. My husband and I would read the Care & Feeding parenting column from Slate, debating how we would handle the conundrums of different letters before getting the “answer” from the columnist.

Also, get as full a picture of family pregnancy as you can. You might know your own birth story, but what about the other half of the genetics you’ll be juggling? I, personally, managed to mash up my MIL’s hyperemesis gravidarum and my mom’s gestational diabetes which has been…not a great time.

And ask *lots* of questions. I had pretty low-stakes issues making it into the world, but it turns out all my dad’s generation of siblings all needed to stay in the NICU. My dad had multiple full-body blood transfusions in his first days. That would have been helpful to know!

That said, what I was most shocked to learn is that there is no way to know what kind of pregnancy you’re going to have until you’re in it. Even if you’ve had a kid before—you can have wildly different experiences! There’s literally no way to know in advance!

Pro tip: you can’t know for certain what pregnancy will be like for you, but getting a broad picture can help it seem less like a cliff jump into the unknown.

Getting pregnant will take longer than you think

Once again, for those in the back, GETTING PREGNANT WILL TAKE LONGER THAN YOU THINK. 

For starters, you will need to stop not getting pregnant, which has been the focus of most young adult lives since your fertility started. I had to get my IUD removed and also get revaccinated for a bunch of things (rubella, flu, tetanus). If you were on the pill, it may take a few months to get everything out of your system. Then, you will do something to try to get pregnant and wait for two weeks. Whether it takes two weeks, two months, or ten years—it will feel like a very long time.

Especially because by this point, I felt ready to have a child. I looked at the calendar and thought, “Oh good, the kid will be X horoscope sign. They’ll have their birthday during the school year. Their birthday will be X year, and that will be easy to remember.” I made plans.

And then I just…didn’t get pregnant. And kept not getting pregnant. Every month of getting my period was so frustrating. I had charted my cycle! I had taken my temperature to figure out if I was ovulating! I swallowed these giant prenatal vitamins that are the size of a human toe!

Some people do get pregnant instantly, and many blessings on their ultra-efficient plumbing. Some people get pregnant when they don’t want to, and they should be able to have a choice about whether to have those kids. 

For most people, there will be a while between deciding to have a child through pregnancy and getting one started. It is happening everywhere, to countless people, and is one of the hardest, loneliest, most unintelligible experiences—made worse by the fact that people are shoving their feet into their own faces around you for the entire experience. You’re surrounded by people getting pregnant (magically! easily! with barely a whisper of effort!), people asking you when you will become pregnant, people congratulating you on not being pregnant because you can go out, drink, get really into aerial silks, etc. And you will have to not punch them in the face.

If you are under 35, most doctors will not even talk to you about fertility issues until you have tried for a year. That’s a minimum of twelve cycles of trying, twelve “I feel really good about this month” conversations, twelve pregnancy tests that say you’re not pregnant, twelve months at a job you may not like but stay at because they have good parental leave benefits or insurance coverage.

After a year (and after you get on their schedule) a fertility specialist can offer you fun adventures like getting dye injected into your fallopian tubes to see if they’re blocked, approval to shoot yourself up with expensive hormones (at home! with a real needle!), and any of the other amazing methods technology and medicine have discovered that tweak any of the multitude of handoffs that need to happen for a pregnancy to “take.”

If I can ask one thing, assume at least one person in earshot of your public conversation is trying to get pregnant and can’t—and be a little kinder.

Pro tip: get the cheaper pregnancy tests with lines rather than the electronic ones with words, because there are few bigger downers than seeing “NOT PREGNANT” month after month.

Find a practitioner you like

Because eventually, you will want to strangle them. It’s important to start with someone you like, so that the strangling phase will be late in the pregnancy and not a sustained hatred for nine full months.

Whether you’re pregnant or working with a reproductive specialist, having someone who listens to you will help. Some people cannot deal with hippie woo woo, some cannot imagine a pregnancy that’s all medical jargon. If you’re a person of color or want to have certain cultural traditions respected from the get-go, vetting at the beginning can avoid being at loggerheads later. Take some time to reflect on good and bad medical experiences you’ve had, and if you have options, choose someone who will not make you hyperventilate every time you have an appointment.

For me, I knew I needed a doctor who would not give me a hard time about weight gain. I have a history of disordered eating and (pre-pregnancy) was competing as a super heavyweight lifter, so am used to plenty of unsolicited opinions about my weight and what I should be doing with it. Pregnancy is fraught enough to take a single off-hand comment to an extreme, and I was deeply uninterested in negotiating an anorexia relapse while battling all the pregnancy changes.

If you have some time, shuffle up your pre-pregnancy appointments to get a feel for different doctors. I pulled up ZocDoc for my insurance network and came up with some finalists: had my annual exam by one, my IUD taken out by another, and my MMR re-vaccine done by a third. I knew my practice was right for me when the doctor offered to take all weight measurements patient-blind for the entire pregnancy.

Pro tip: think about what style of doctoring would make you feel better during this time, and give yourself the gift of one less thing to stress about.

Taking information in

Like the best of us, I enjoy a Wikipedia rabbit hole. I’m an especially good finder and am frequently tagged in as the friend who can unearth the secret Tumblr or yearbook photo of an elusive crush. I can find anything, and have a Jeopardy-level mental trapper keeper for bizarre edge-cases.

This is…not great for pregnancy, especially when unleashed on the “seems legit” constellation of mommy blogs. There are a million things that can go wrong with a pregnancy, and past a certain point, knowing more does not make you more likely to avoid or survive them.

Think of it like a fractal. Having the general shape of the tree: useful. Hyperfocusing so hard on one of the branches that you lose days in front of the computer screen, diving deeper into medical texts and unconfirmed narratives until you completely glaze over: less so.

Knowing this about myself helped me manage the unceasing amount of feedback offered by everyone from doctors to bystanders. I limited myself to one book (Emily Oster’s Expecting Better, which is wonderful), a doctor I trusted, and small doses of the Wellesley pregnancy group. I still couldn’t stop myself from reading every op-ed about miscarriage and stillbirth, but I was able to process them as things I was choosing to read instead of a compulsion I could not turn off.

Pro tip: really think about how much information serves you. It can feel like knowing every little thing will make you an expert who is ironclad against any malady. That’s, unfortunately, not how it works.

Sending information out

Like information gathering, you’ll want to decide how, when, and who to share information with. Having a pandemic pregnancy gave me a lot more power over when I disclosed than I would have had normally—I was sick as hell and it would have been a first-month discussion at work rather than a third-month one. It has allowed others to have entire pregnancies in private, only announcing when the baby has been delivered.

I found it helpful to think of pregnancy updates in concentric rings: my husband and I in the innermost circle, immediate family and some friends next, wider friend group and extended family, and then everyone else. I didn’t have to give minute-by-minute updates to everyone in the world if I didn’t want to, and a quick “Oh actually that’s private” was usually enough to keep any especially nosy questions to a minimum.

There were people who surprised me with wanting to know much more, and some who heard “baby” and unsubscribed. Both are fine!

Pro tip: if at all possible, curate a group of friends who are far from having first kids so that you can be assured of a rapt audience of “WHAT can happen??” Plus, at least one friend with a recent kid who’s very organized who can tell you what’s helpful to buy and what is BS.

Particular pandemic weirdness (good and bad)

While it has been lonely, it has also been wonderfully private. Some particular strange markers:

• It is very odd to go from several months of zero physical contact with anyone outside my apartment directly into an intravaginal ultrasound.
• My husband is going to meet our doctor at the delivery, because no one except patients is allowed past the lobby at our practice.
• I will likely not need to buy any maternity clothes, because my pandemic outfits of blousy shirts and stretchy pants to work from home will suit perfectly.
• No one touches my stomach unless I want them to.

Remote birthing classes allow you to snicker as much as you’d like from the comfort of your couch.

Things I did not know and wish I had

The way they count how far along you are starts from the first day of your last period. That is not when you got pregnant, but is the easiest way to have a consistent range for all patients (who may or may not be tracking ovulation spikes).

It is normal to have spotting-level breakthrough bleeding at some point during your pregnancy. The books will tell you this. Your doctor will tell you this. I am telling you this now. It will not make a damn bit of difference, because the moment you see blood, you will panic and be certain you are having a miscarriage. No one will be able to convince you otherwise until you get checked out.

Your entire digestive system slows waaaay down to accommodate a pregnancy, and is part of the reason for nausea. I had heard that you will need to pee all the time, but hadn’t heard that you will almost entirely stop pooping. And then once a week, you will crap yourself inside out.

The placenta can grow wherever it wants, including smack-dab over your cervix. This offends me more than I can say. That’s where the baby needs to go out! (C-section is required in these cases)

A cesarean birth is a horizontal cut, like an envelope opening and then they squeeze the baby through it. I always pictured it vertical, like opening a book.

Acronyms are a minefield on pregnancy forums. For months, I read posts thinking “FTM” meant “female-to-male trans person” instead of “first-time mom.” Don’t be afraid to Google to keep your bearings, but also feel free to create your own—DH can be “Dear” or “Damn” Husband depending on context.

“Morning sickness” is a misnomer. It can happen all day. It can happen for your whole pregnancy, though most women see a gradual decrease after the first trimester. I’m mid-way through my third trimester, and still throwing up six times a day. If I had known that earlier, I would not have tried to “stick it out” for as long as I did: cooking meals from scratch, insisting that pre-packaged snacks were for wimps. If you are sick, get comfortable EARLY. You don’t get extra points or a better baby for staying miserable, so you might as well lean in to Couch and Cheese Central. If it clears up, great. If not, at least you’re not already tired from trying too hard.

Around 4% of babies are born on their due dates. Do not assume your third trimester will be the length you would like it to be. My doctor has proposed a 37 week induction (because of all the sickness and gestational diabetes). While that is technically full-term, that news was given to me in such a way that low-balled the panic of being A FULL MONTH EARLY. As in, LOSING A THIRD OF THE TRIMESTER.

The baby is lower than you may expect—actual location is generally half-way between navel and nethers. If you’re patting the top of a pregnant person’s stomach (with their permission), you are far away from where the kid is.

There is no good news during a pregnancy. The best you can hope for is continuing to meet the baseline. I am so much more understanding of gender reveal parties, because it is literally the only test result that you can have an opinion about. No ultrasound or blood test will come back with, “Congratulations, your child is gifted!” or “They’re going to be so good at tennis!” It is nine straight months of finding out you’re high risk or not for sickle-cell anemia or tuberculosis. I stopped writing them down after awhile because it felt like every one was, “Oh damn, I didn’t even know we were still concerned about that.”

“Round ligament pain” is the technical term for sharp, stabbing pain in your groin caused by all the ligaments in your hips and crotch helpfully loosening to allow for gestation and birth. This can start as early as 14 weeks, which one would think is way too fricking early for it, but nope. You’d be wrong. The general recommendation for this is to keep your knees together, to which I say, “That particular ship has left the harbor.”